dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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