I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
