does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
