The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
