i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
