mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
