i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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