It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's rum buckets o'clock
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
