You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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