Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
