When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
