yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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