Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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