I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
