"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize