idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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