need another drink. this is the easiest way
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
