I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
