let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
