I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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