wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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