I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
