i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
