So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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