God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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