We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
