Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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