The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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