bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
