would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Randomize
