No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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