Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
