This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
