You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
