Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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