it was like eating out sand paper
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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