You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
