Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
