My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
