god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I forget how to act sober
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
