Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
