he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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