areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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