Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
