I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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