just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
