Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Shame - the story of my life.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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