whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize