apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize