OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
