it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
