i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize