we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just had sex on a roof
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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