I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
