I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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