that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
