i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
