cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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