Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
