I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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