I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
