Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
