and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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