remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Randomize