Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I lost the right to judge tonight
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize