I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
