I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
