Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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