just come out here and I will go home with you...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize